note to self – do not use black

only dark brown

or dark green

or dark red

but not black

the hard outline is not what I want

maybe my art is about boundaries.

on a purely formal level

i don’t want there to be boundaries, i want everything to melt into each other

like pools of fat

like pats of butter in a frying pan

so my work is about

having less boundaries?

smudgey smudge smudge smudge

(after we spoke on the phone for four hours)

I dreamt that I was curled on a man’s lap

and I felt safe as he stroked my hair

he was big and fatherly and his hands were like paws

the man was sort of ***** but also sort of Spencer Matthews from made in chelsea

he told me I needed to get my left front tooth fixed

and that would make me look better,

would make me feel better